In grade three my daughter, who was extremely shy in her younger years was forced by a school Principal to read an essay in front of the classroom.  He made her do this twice, then fall back into his arms in front of her peers in order to ‘rid her of her phobia’.  From that day on was continued school refusal, crying, nightmares, and eventually she was labeled with anxiety disorder.  Paxil, an antidepressant manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline Pharmaceutical was prescribed.

My heart was breaking seeing my child so unhappy.  So I put my faith in the medical professionals; the medical put their faith in the pharmaceutical, GlaxoSmithKline.  HUGE mistake.

What is known now in regards to paxil side effects was not known when paxil was prescribed to my daughter. GlaxoSmithKline promoted Paxil for use by children and adolescents while withholding negative information about the medication's safety and effectiveness.  Paxil now comes with a black box warning.

It is now known that paxil causes psychosis, self harm, suicide, and various other mental health labels.  When my daughter began self-harming, having severe mood swings, and then becoming suicidal I was told it was due to mental illness.  I was told this because GlaxoSmithKline hid clinical data showing that paxil can have this effect on children.  As time progressed on paxil, my daughter started hurting herself by riding her bike into brick walls, or throwing herself down the stairs, picking at her skin with needles.  Paxil was increased.  Over the months, my daughter’s mental health progressively worsened.  There were numerous trips to the doctors, psychiatrists, and the emergency department. 

One day paxil was covered on the news.  Warnings in regard to children taking their own lives, a side effect of paxil.  I headed straight to the psychiatrist who did not acknowledge the warnings, but did agree  paxil was not helping my daughter.  He removed her from paxil, abruptly. 

Within 24 hours my daughter became very ill.  She was crying at nothing, angry, talking unreasonably.  She then began vomiting, too dizzy to walk; I assumed she had the flu.  Due to her severe mood swings I called the psychiatrist.  The psychiatrist prescribed, via telephone, Effexor.  My daughter continued to experience severe mood swings, crying, saying she wanted to die; the effexor was removed after only a few days of use due to ‘side effects’.  What was not recognized in those days was that paxil is addictive and not to be stopped abruptly.  What my daughter was experiencing was paxil withdrawal.

I can still remember my daughter lying on the couch stating things like “mommy I’m dying”, or “mommy I want to die, my heart is breaking in tiny pieces”, or reaching her  hands above her head, eyes dilated “mommy, my head is coming off, I can’t catch my head”.

I cannot express to you the fear and anguish I went through watching my daughter suffer this way.  Many tears were shed by both of us.  I found Children’s Aide at my door because I refused more medications.  An attempt was made to put my child put in Youthdale Psychiatric Hospital.  All because GlaxoSmithKline withheld clinical data in order to keep up their sale figures.

I decided to get the Internet installed at home, hoping to find answers.  I did find answers, pages of answers, and eventually landed at a website called paxilprogress.org.  I cannot express the relief I felt, when all my daughter’s symptoms were validated.  People around the world experiencing what my daughter had, both while on paxil, and once paxil was stopped.    Doctors told me not to believe what I read on the Internet.  I followed my gut, and because of that, and because of what I learned at paxilprogress.org my daughter is fine today.

Magically, after the last of the paxil withdrawal symptoms, all signs of mental illness have disappeared.  But it doesn’t stop there because my daughter has lost years of education.  She also had to come to grips with her paxil experience.  She questioned her sanity for quite some time.  She would wonder if another episode of severe mood swings would hit again, or if the horrible nightmares she experienced during paxil withdrawal would visit again during the night.

Today, the child who could not concentrate and was in special education while on paxil, is presently taking grade nine academic.  Her marks all in the eighty and ninety percentile range.   She is a happy, normal teenager.  While it is still a struggle because she has missed so much education, I am paying for private education, and tutors.  Once again my child is thriving, her confidence and self worth back to where it should be. 

I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone, let alone a child.  What was GlaxoSmithKline thinking?  They were thinking about the money they would lose if they exposed the information they had on hand!  They ‘chose’ to put our children’s lives at risk for profit.